Cuddling works

When he made a soft face that I should move closer to him, it made me feel so.. giggly inside.
Also the time he was showering my forehead with kisses..
And that we were laughing together..

these are the moment that i consider priceless.

I will be willing to do anything just to experience it again.


How can he make me fall for him like it was just the first time?

Just when I least expect it to be...

In the middle of fear and worry, a name popped on my screen...

and he greeted me on our special day.

I love you so much.

Feeling of Suspension

The moon will soon be full..

Its time to let time wait.

Hugging is a way to feel the heartbeat of love.

It feels so be good to be pampered. Especially if you lived most of your life trying to be independent. Of course you would expect your family to take care of you. But what if you're not home.. you have to deal with different kinds of people outside your comfort zone. As far as I have experienced, I sometime hate humans. They have this attitude of judging you and taking advantage of what you're weak about. Well.. I can say that because I have always been inferior. That may be the reason why I look so tough. Unconsciously, I've tried to create a feature that would make people think I'm tough.

So much for that..

I am such an emotional person. The fact that I am a girl is not helping. More so a human which is vulnerable to the thing called feelings.

But this thing called love. It defies all rules. It is where I learned that to make someone fall for you, you should be willing to give your unending love. That you should be willing to not receive anything at first. That sacrifice is the most foundation to make it worth it.

Everytime he holds my hand and caresses it, everytime he kisses my forehead, everytime he allows me to bury my head into his neck, everytime he carries me on his back, everytime he cooks for me, everytime he pays for what I need, everytime he accompanies me, everytime he smiles at me, everytime he carries my things, everytime he massages me, everytime he hugs me, everytime he smiles at me...

to receive all this when I thought I would never get the chance to from the beginning.. that I thought I would be forbidden to have it makes me cry with so much happiness.

I am just so thankful that I have him.

Especially the moment he said,

"kung palagi ka namang tumatanggi, wala naman akong magagawa"

He makes my words as an important factor. That he is actually giving me a choice about our relationship.. and so
my heart started to beat louder. I wonder, did he hear it?
Did he noticed that my hands were shaking and that I was making the I-am-falling face again?

Remembering all this makes me miss him more than what I already do. Right now, I'm holding on to Cinnamon as I kept on thinking about him.

I hope tomorrow its him that I'm hugging.

Consistent pecking that made my day.

while I was burying my head unto his shoulders, as I let myself sleep lightly, I felt a warm breath on my face when it was cold all around. Then I felt lips upon my forehead, small kisses that means something big.

Kisses that touches the heart in between dreams and reality.

Kisses that I long for right now..

It just makes me melt when you do that.

Reaching You..

He placed his warm hand on my cheek and asked,

"nahihilo ka pa?"

A while ago, I decided to be with him instead of being with my school friends. Since I also wanted to drink (oh yes I miss feeling tipsy) I decided to do so and have a break from my reality.. so that I may be able to infuse myself with his.

After one shot of brandy that scratched my throat and a bottle of Red horse. I thought I was just a little tipsy but when I stood up, oh boy.. was I more than tipsy. Well I was not afraid to be so since I have my boyfriend with me who is more conditioned on alcohol. I guess it was really immature of me to be careless, to drink more than what I could really handle. But I wanted to feel what its like to feel my reality go in reverse.

But I ended up making my boyfriend as my sitter. He let me hold onto him when I can't walk straight. He listened to me when I said words that weren't in my vocabulary in the first place and He leaned my head unto his shoulder when I was feeling so tired.

The best and the only thing that I could do was not throw up.

This situation, me being drunk, lousy (looks stupid) and tried to act normal (though i can't).. well I guess its his first time to see it. I was new to it either so I guess that is a suprise for the both of us.
But even so, he took care of me. The stories of men taking advantage over women who are intoxicated was spinning around in my head, like I was actually waiting for it. Yet all he did was hold me tight to prevent me from falling and shower me with kisses. While we were already in the fx, I was stopping myself from crying. I guess thats also one influence of alcohol, youre free from restrictions of what you used to think stops you but too bad I'm not that drunk yet to not stop me from doing it.

I have to grip his hands tighter to somehow slow down the blood flowing from my veins. Because that blood keeps my heart pumping fast which triggers the glands that makes my emotions more stronger.

Oo na, cheesy. Again. But this really are the moments that grips my heart till my tears run down my eyes. Its so sweet. Its so caring. It so warm. He always makes me feel that no matter what happens, he would be there to take care of me. That someone would always be there to catch me in time in case I fall.. and it makes the tears flood over my eyes.. because more and more I realize that the person who loves me is the person I would not stop adoring, desiring.. most of all loving.

When I showed him my true feelings and actions, he understood and believed me.

No one called me by name and made me giggle about it..

..but him.

Jake always gave me a lot of firsts.. and because of him, I can already smile at what used to be the old me..

Since I felt that this feeling was growing bigger.

p.s.
Sorry to make you drag me. Yes, I guess I did look funny.. But it was fun smiling with you while the night sky was twirling in my head. Thank you.

I love you so much.

The condensation of justification

Date - noun (deyt)

1. The specified day of the month
2. A participant in a date
3. A meeting arranged in advance
4. A particular but unspecified point in time
5.The particular day, month, or year (usually according to the Gregorian calendar) that an event occurred
6. A particular day specified as the time something happens

I have seen people be hurt by this.
I have seen this be used by other girls as an excuse to make the other guilty.
It is the source of headache for men who forget it.

I never thought I would forget it too..

..and that is the lesson for this day.

I am just so lucky its okay for him that I forgot it.. but I hate the idea that I was not able to pass the test. He said do not make a big deal out of it but somehow, I cannot help not to. Its an important day, it was the time we first met. The first day my life had changed for good.

Why dont I make a deal out of it unlike other girls that I know?

Because I'm scared of waiting for that day that my special love one would forget it. That he would forget to greet me or remember that day and I know that would make me sad.

But the hell.. I never thought that what I don't want to happen to me will be the thing that I would do.

And this is why I make a deal about me forgetting it.

Do you know that you just overwhelm me? With the thing I always never expect? And you just texted me now..

"No amount of comparison will ever justify the beauty of the star scene in antipolo here in manila just like no amount of comparison will justify your beauty among the stars. I love you so much."

Anyone who dares to destroy this love, you'll be damned...

"Jake?"
"Kuya?"
"Totoo na ba yan?"
"Sana."

...because love is a labor, and I decided to slave till the end.